The cycle then breeds stress, which gets passed down to staff through the chain of command -- also known as "a power trip."

It is also clear to me that while I choose to be understanding and loving in dealing with this situation, there are those whom we care for who do not have the luxury of choice in who cares for them.

Does that make me responsible for revealing what needs to be healed? Believe me, if I could walk away and not look back, I would. Yet so many have done so already and who has it served? My only intention in sharing these thoughts is to serve the best interests of all concerned. I simply cannot ignore this industry without at least my best attempt to improve whatever I can. Who knows? Maybe some hearts and minds can be changed.

The management and operations at our facility truly appear to have it all together. We've even been trained and are attempting to implement a 'culture change movement' throughout the company. There seems to be a gap far too wide, however in any sincere attempt to get from here to there.

The facility I work at is a highly respected business in my own small community, has an outstanding reputation for being "the" place to live" when care at home can no longer be achieved.

Even the corporate office has a false perception of our facility being very well-managed and an excellent example for success. My most recent perception though, is that each of our roles in keeping up this facade, while it may have been the norm in the past, is dragging us all down and we're so busy performing, we don't even see it happening.

The reality I am choosing to face by reaching out today is that we are not these things. We have an amazing potential to be everything we've begun to learn is possible. I now find myself very alone in opposition to an unhealthy "don't ask, don't tell" policy that everyone understands if they want to keep their job there. I'm also prepared to lose my job if that is what it takes to bring integrity to this situation.

There are silent rules for keeping up the appearance and on many good days, things run smoothly and peacefully. Thank God for the Angels who must be watching over our elders. I wonder how long this can go on before something gives and then I realize it already has been for years and years.

Management in our facility claims to have found the answers and to be working hard to make life better. Yet beautiful, loving direct caregivers and other staff are still caught in a cycle of authoritative abuse and quiet violence, trapped by the need for income.

I came to this job thinking I could make a difference. Instead, I am being made to look a little crazy right now. I've held a vision of positive change for these people I love and will continue to do so. An incident this past week that appears to have been an attempt to take me down has, as I have chosen for it to, changed ME for the better. The level of dysfuction is suddenly alarming to me.